We rejoin our heroes as they have reached various places on Earth. What adventures will they have? Will they meet the mobiles? No, seriously, I'M asking you, cause I don’t know, these aren’t rhetorical questions you know, oh well, there’s only one way to find out...

Rocko
“You sure were going the right way Rocko?” Zordell asked.
“Of course we are, were just taking, erm, the scenic route” I replied trying to sound convincing.
“Whatever,” added Seamus.
“Anyway, so, like, there’s no tea room on this planet?” Zordell asked in a worried voice.
“Well,” Rocko replied, “no not really, we do have tea, and you really should try the coffee, but, no.”
“Where’s Zordell going to go and hide from the monsters then,” Seamus sniggered, to which Zordell looked at him aggressively.
“Only joking,” Seamus wheezed.

Maniac
“What did you say it was again?” Wdi asked.
“Well this sign says 'cars for sale', so I guess a car” Jaster answered.
“Who cares,” I said, “look at all the people.”
“But Maniac, but look at the cars,” Wdi said in awe of these machines.
“We don’t have time for you to play with a new toy Wdi,” Jaster said aggravated, “we have to find the mobiles”.
A swarve looking guy walked over to us and called out in a annoying cocky sort of way, “I see you fine looking gentleman are interested in one of our lovely cars”.
“No not really were just….” I started to reply but was abruptly cut off by Wdi saying, “Yes, yes we are”.
“Well then how about this nice little number” the annoying man said, “you can take her for a test drive if you like”.
To which Wdi’s eyes lit up.

Joey
“Ok then the plan is this, we wander around until we find them,” Foz said trying to sound militaristic.
Clapping slowly, I replied sarcastically “wow, what a grREeaat plan, even Cora could come up with a better plan then that, couldn’t you Cora, Cora, I’m talking to you!”
“What, yer sure,” Cora replied, uninterested.
“What’s wrong with you?” Foz asked, “its only some big guys with machines”.
“They're…, they're…, bickers,” Cora said looking over in a besotted way.
“Their what?!” I asked.
“Bickers,” she said again ,“those machines are their bikes, and they are called bikers, big, strong, hunky, rugged men with their bikes”.
I looked at Foz, and he looked at me, as we both rolled our eyes.

Vampire
If they don’t shut up soon, I’m going to FOD myself.
“I told your, dear, we can’t rest yet, we have to get to the caves,” the king dwarf said.
“But my feet are killing me, and you know what I’m like without my servants, I GET CRANKY!” replied the Queen Dwarf.
No, I’m not going to kill myself, I’m going to kill THEM!
“I said that you could wait back in the hut,” said the king calmly.
“Like I’m going to leave YOU alone here for 5 minutes” declared the Queen, “as soon as you’re out of my sight you’ll be with some hussy, I’ve seen the way you look at that servant in the kitchen!”
Slowly and painfully, kill them. How does the Wyven stay so calm and quiet?

Wyvern
Slowly and painfully, I’m going to kill them. I’ll poison them, that’s it!

Ape
Why is everyone looking at us and screaming? Haven’t they ever seen an ape, an eagle, and a giant before?
“Mr ape, sir,” the giant bellowed down, “I think I’ve done it again”.
I turned to see his foot, and saw the underneath of one of those large machines.
“It’s ok,” I shouted up, “the more destruction the better”.
“Where has that eagle gone?” I murmured aloud.
Looking around I finally found him surrounded by many small people; they are, stroking him!
“What do you think you are doing!” I shouted at the eagle. “We're meant to be killing them, scarring them, and basically, creating mayhem”.
The eagle just ignored me.Picking up a near by handy blunt instrument, I started to walk over to the eagle, but first I head…
“Mr ape sir, it went squish this time”.

Man
Rattle rattle rattle rattle.
That lovely polluted Earth air. Kids screaming in fear, people running away, death and destruction all around me, feels like home again.
Rattle rattle rattle rattle.
I left this place long ago.
Rattle rattle rattle rattle.
I was a vagabond, a worthless pile in the streets, and then those wizards offered me a chance to live in another land, where I could make something of my life.
Rattle rattle rattle rattle.
“OH will you two skeletons stop that dam rattling!” I shouted.
“Yes sir,” they replied in unison whilst maiming defenceless humans.
I think their best invention in all these long years since I was last here, is the car.
Rattle rattle rattle rattle.
“I’ve warned you two,” I growled at them
“Sorry sir” was the reply.
Grabbing someone desperately trying to get the engine started, and yanking them out of their car, followed by a swift break of his neck, I entered the car.
You’ve got to admire it, a useful purpose of transporting people, and the added bonus of all that pollution.
Rattle rattle rattle.
Maybe I can just run them two over, and claim it on their life after death insurance as an accident.

The scene is set. Will our hero’s (and heroin’s) find the evil mobiles? Will they win? Has Wdi passed his driving test, or at least had one lesson? Is Cora going to chat up the bikers, and most importantly, where IS Zordell
going to hide from the monsters? Find out in the next heart-pounding episode of…

Rocko’s (not so modern) mud life