Zordell
“Shhh, listen” Rocko said in a hushed voice dragging Seamus and me down.
“What is it?” Seamus asked quietly.
“Listen!” Rocko persisted.
First there was nothing, but then we heard, arguing?
“I will not go another step,” a screechy posh voice said.
“But my dear” another posh but restrained voice replied “the sooner we find an army, the sooner we can make them our servants.”
“WILL YOU BOTH JUST SHUT UP!” a third voice shouted.
“I know those voices,” Seamus said standing up and exposing our position.
“It’s the Vampire, with the king and queen dwarfs.”
In a startled manner they turned towards us.
“Oh well,” I said, “no need hiding now, no, we could have been listening in to battle plans, even found out where the others are, but oh no, you had to go and ruin it Seamus.”
Rocko then stood up slowly, stick in his hand and said, “it’s time to kick some butt.”

Jaster
“I feel sick,” Maniac said.
“No wonder” I replied, we’ve nearly killed ten people, narrowly missed eighteen posts, that car selling man ran away screaming ages ago, and….
“That’s not why I feel sick,” Maniac butted in, “it’s this dam jerking”
“Ok ok, I admit, it may not be a smooth ride, but it’s the only way to travel,” Wdi said.
Looking up ahead, I saw masses of screaming people coming our way. Wdi screeched on the breaks. The masses ran straight pasted up, screaming something about skeletons. When they had all passed, Maniac jumped out of the car, and kissed the ground.
“I’m alive!” he yelled.
I opened the door and stepped out. Looking up ahead I saw the remains of a few dead bodies. Further up, the old man was sitting in another car. It was red and had no roof to it. It made Wdi’s Car look pitiful. The man looked up and spotted us, and smiled.

Foz
“We’ve been sitting here for hours,” Joey said aggravated “when are we going after the mobiles!”
“We’ll find them,” I replied
“How will we find them, sitting here!” he yelled back.
“Where’s Cora gone?” I asked looking around.
Sitting down Joey replied “oh all those biker people went, but there’s still one bike left, she’s over there, pretending she can ride it.”
I smirked. Suddenly the ground started to shake. Gently at first, but it soon increased. The place went quiet quite a while back, so there wasn’t anyone to ask about this phenomenon. Then, blackness hit, day turned to night.
“What the hell?” I asked standing up.
“Look” Joey said, pointing up.
Turning around I understood. Day hadn’t turned to night, someone was blocking out the sun, and that someone was, the Giant!
Cora was the first to take cover, but Joey and myself were soon to follow, hiding behind some old dusty bins. Running around the corner came the ape, in pain. Fluttering around his head, the eagle was attacking him.
“Look, you’ll thank me for it later,” the ape said. “Ouch, will you stop that! I had to hit those kids away, they were distracting you from the job.”
The eagle pecked relentlessly.
I felt a tingling in my nose. Oh no, I’m going to,… to,… “AAAARRRCCCHOOOO,” I sneezed from all the dust.
The Eagle stopped its attack on the ape, as they both turned to look at us.
Rising, Joey said, “You couldn’t hold it in, could you”
“Hey, you were the one that wanted to come and find the mobiles, well here they are,” I replied.
The ape and eagle still looked over at us baffled.
“OK then guys,” Cora said, “what now.”
Joey spoke quickly: “I’ll take the Eagle.”
Thinking fast I said “and, I’ll take the ape.”
“Fine,” Cora replied, “then I’ll take, oh, oh no.”
Peering down from above the giant said, “oh yes.”
Running, Cora headed for the Bike. Myself, Joey, the Ape and Eagle, watched on. As she ran to the bike, she removed her coat. Pulling on a black leather jacket left on the side, she zipped it up two thirds of the way. When she reached the bike she turned to us all. Grabbing a helmet she shouted to the Giant, “You’ll have to catch me first”. She pulled the helmet on, and jumped on her bike. Looking at her like that, I could see the attraction she had to those biker men. She started the engine and drove off at high speed, obviously she was watching those bikers more then we thought.
Turning to the Giant, the Ape shouted, “Well don’t just stand there, get after her!”
“Yes sir” he replied, and took his gigantic steps, as he proceeded to run after her. After the ground had stopped shaking once more from the giant, I pulled a piece of pipe from the bin and said, “ok then, lets do this”.
Joey grabbed the pipe from me and ran towards the eagle, as the ape ran towards me.
When the ape reached me he looked worn out. “You know, I really can’t be bother to fight,” he said.
Sitting down I said, “me either”.
“You know what I miss the most about Mud?” asked the ape. “The booze, and the wine”.
“They have that here you know,” I said grabbing someone’s old drink that they had left behind. I passed it to the ape. “I’ve seen people around here drinking it, try some.”
Taking the glass from me, he drank. “That’s good stuff,” the ape said.
Looking over to Joey I saw him having a tough time. He was waving the pipe around in the air trying to hit the eagle, but it kept dodging out of the way.
Grabbing a whisky bottle I passed that to the ape, and he drank that too.
“Smooth,” the ape replied after downing the whisky in one. Putting his arm around me, the ape said in a drunken way “You know what, I love you I do” and with that, he passed out cold on the floor.
I turned to Joey, who was trying a different tactic. He seemed to be, feeding the eagle? Joey had found a packet of crisps someone had left behind, and was feeding them to the eagle one by one. He then rustled the packet, showing there was more inside, and threw them to the ground. The eagle dived down, and started poking his beak in, trying to get the food. Smiling to himself, Joey stepped up behind the eagle, and using the piece of pipe, hit it across the head. The eagle froze in position, then fell to the ground with a thud. Joey looked over at me, then the ape on the floor and asked “good fight then?”

Jaster
The old man started up the car, and rolled towards us. He passed by, looked at the car Wdi was sitting in, laughed, and then drove off at high speed.
Growling, Wdi said, “He’s mine” and as the wheels screeched. Wdi turned the car around, and sped after the old man. Maniac rose and walked over to me.
Rattle rattle rattle.
“What is that?” Maniac asked.
“It can’t be,” I said.
“It can’t be what?” Maniac asked.
As Maniac asked two skeletons stumbled together out of a building. Turning Maniac saw what I had dreaded and said in a hushed voice, “the skeletons”.
“Come on, we have to fight them” I said.
The skeletons spotted us, and walked into the middle of the road, we did the same.
“So, we meet again Jaster,” one of the skeletons said.
“Looks like it,” I replied.
“Last time we met, I beat your warlock, feeling confident this time?” the skeleton asked.
I just smiled and said “very”.
The two skeletons laughed.
Maniac grabbed at my arm and said quietly to me “We can’t beat the two of them”
“We have to” I replied.
The skeletons started to make their way towards us. Looking around for a weapon, I spotted something familiar. It was two, dogs. I recognise them from Spunky, an earth dog I had seen before. From a conversation I had had
with Rocko, these dogs like... oh yes.
“Here boy, come here,” I said in a softly to the dogs.
“What are you doing, this is no time to play with strange animals!” Maniac said distressed.
The two dogs made there way over to me and looked up hungrily.
“Dinner time boys” I said, pointing at the skeletons.
The two skeletons stopped in their tracks, confused.
The two dogs picked up their ears, and looked at the two skeletons. The two dogs ran towards the skeletons. Grabbing one leg of a skeleton each, the two dogs tried to pull off a leg bone from the skeleton.
“Get off me,” the skeletons yelled together.
As they screamed for help, Maniac looked on in amazement. Finally they managed to rip off their bone, and the two dogs ran away. The two skeletons stood there momentarily on one foot. Looking at each other, they realised
their impending doom, and toppled over on to the floor, breaking into many bone pieces. From where the two dogs left, came a whole pack of dogs. They all found bones for themselves, and ran off in different directions.
“Well that was easy,” Maniac said.
“Shall we get a car?” I asked.
“Let’s walk,” he replied.

Zordell
Rocko walked with his stick towards the king dwarf and said “You're mine.”
“Happy to oblige” the king said, picking up a stick of his own, and they began fighting.
Seamus ran towards the vampire and shouted, “this one’s mine.”
Looking around I saw the queen dwarf standing there alone, glancing around.
I walked over to her and said, “your guards can’t help you now.”
“Fine,” she replied “I’ll just kill you myself”.
The fight was short and easy. Finally, striking her across the head, she fell to the ground. “Aww, no fair, that was to easy,” I said. Looking around I saw Seamus throwing the vampire over his shoulder, and doing fine. Looking over at Rocko the two wer evenly match, that was until Rocko struck his stick across the Kings head. Slowly getting up, the king began to laugh. Rocko held his position. Reaching inside his cloak, the king pulled out a wafer.
“You fool,” he said, “I still have this!” And with that he took a large bite out of it, but nothing happened.
Rocko laughed. “Why isn’t it working?” the king asked. Grabbing the wafer, Rocko said, “Here on earth, wafers don’t give you back any health”.
With that Rocko took a bite from the wafer himself. “Hmm, lovely” he added.
“Never mind, I’ll kill you anyway,” the king screamed, but Rocko still had that fight under control.
Still full of energy, I jumped around, trying to see if there was anything left to fight. Then I heard a hissing sound, and there was the wyvern. Smiling proudly at my find, I attacked it. I gave it a couple of blows, but then, I suddenly felt a pain in my leg. The wyvern had poisoned me. The effect was immediate. I sank to my knees. The world spun around my head, and everything, went black. “Help” I tried to scream, but it came out in a whisper.

No Rocko, you can’t leave it like this! Oh my god. A giant is chasing Cora, Wdi and the old man are in a car chase, and Zordell is in extreme trouble, and Seamus and Rocko don’t know about it. What’s going to happen? I don’t know, but what I do know is, to find out we’ll have to tune in to the next episode of...

Rockos (not so modern) Mud Life