When we last saw our hero, he was about to embark on his biggest challenge yet. No, not eating Chinese food with chopsticks, that’s the second, no, he is about to participate in a bash. Will he be able to handle it? Find out in this week’s breath taking episode of…Rocko’s (not so modern) Mud life!!

I found myself back in the tea room, and surrounded my loads of people piling out north, a lot faster then me! Cora passed me on her way out and grabbed my arm, “come on, we need to grab some stuff before it’s all gone” she said, as I was dragged through into the land of mud once more. I was wondering if I’d ever just walk out this door instead of getting dragged through.

I found myself on a road near a forest, and made my way directly to the swamp. On my way I didn’t do too badly. I stumbled across a dagger, and bits and bobs of low treasure, which I found by looking around as I went. When I got to the swamp I heard some fighting. A couple of people were fighting the banshee. I remembered to keep my mouth shut, as I dropped my treasure and joined the fight. I ran, jumped, and landed my dagger hard in the banshee’s back. It must have done a lot of damage, because it was a fatal blow and it fell hard into the swamp and sank. I looked up to speak to the first two people who fought it, but they had already gone off to kill more. I trundled casually up to the lounge where I found Cora just about to leave. “Where have you been? I was just about to give up on you” she asked sternly. “I wasn’t that long, and besides, I got this dagger on my way and…” I was going to continue but she cut in, “great we won’t need this axe then” and she chucked it behind her.

“Stay here” I muttered to myself. She puts me in this blasted shrine, and tells me to be ready to meditate, and to wait here. It seemed like ages that I’ve been here, I thought. I was just about to contact Cora, when someone else, a voice I recognised but I couldn’t put a finger on it, asked if I was ready. I answered them yes, and I prepared to meditate. I was just getting comfy, well, as comfy as you can get sitting on a cold stone floor, crossed legged, when I heard someone shout, “med now”. I assumed they meant meditate, and so I did. The meditation did me good actually. It’s quite stressful to be taken from your home and dumped into a strange land, with monsters, and weird people, and things trying to kill you, and you trying to kill them, and I haven’t yet had a decent meal in this place. As I awoke as someone said to me “in”, and then Cora popped into my head and said, “go to the hut”. Well this is all very well for them isn’t it, but it’s extremely confusing for me. I made my way to the hut as I continued this train of thought. I mean, Cora puts me in there with no idea of why, except that were “doing the icons”, whatever that means, and this voice I sort of recognise is apparently “in” again, whatever that means. When I reached the hut Cora was already there of course. “Ok, what are we waiting for, and what was all that about?” Cora then explained to me, that there were three of us, in three different meditation places. When we all meditate, the last to do so gets transported to place on a ship, quite far away, where you fight this monster, and collect 4 icons, one of which is given to each of us, and the two they keep. Well I wasn’t half confused by the end of that, but I sort of grasped the idea. Just as she finished explaining that, someone bursts through the door, hands myself and Cora an “icon” each, and zooms off again. I suddenly realised where I had seen him before. “He’s the one, that’s the one that killed me before” I said to Cora as she grabbed my arm, and I was dragged towards the swamp. “Who Joey?” she asked. “Yes!” I replied. “Well, he has been known to do a spot of PKing on the side. Try fleeing next time, then go back to the tea room, it’s much safer in there”. We dropped the “icons”, and I got about 500 points, which made all that waiting worthwhile.

I hate snakes. No I mean I really hate snakes. But oh no, no way to avoid them here is there, we have to go down this cold damp well, and fight these creepy slimy creatures. Annoying thing was, they kept fleeing, and so you’d have to re attack them over and over again. During the fight, I asked, “is this the last one yet”. Cora thought for a moment and said, “well this makes six so I guess so yes”. I was very happy to hear that, I plunged my dagger into the retched creature and finally killed it off. My arm computer then beeped and flashed up “task completed”. I didn’t even have to ask Cora to explain, she just saw the confused look on my face. “Right, you see, to become a wizard, it’s not enough just to get 200000+ points, oh no, you have to complete 7 tasks, well I think it’s 7, I haven’t quite done them all you see myself. If you want to know more, ask Jaster, he’s our resident tasks specialist.” “Right” I simply replied and moved on to seeing how many mobiles were left to kill and how long we had left. 101 left in 64 minutes. “Is that good?” I asked Cora as we made our way out of the well. “Well it didn’t use to be, you see occasionally the powers that be decides it’ll be nice to send us even more monsters down to risk our persona’s on, and recently they have given us goblins, and giants, thus where we would now normally be breaking even, were still behind. I think we’ll leave it a bit longer before we do the giants, they can give 60+ hits I’ve heard!”

“Well we really leaving it a while aren’t we” I mumbled to myself. We had passed by the rapids, and found that maniac had finished the dwarfs and now wants a crack at the giants. So off we was now going, to kill the giants, yes I said we, myself and Cora had to go along as well didn’t we! I looked up to see what we were about to kill, and well they were just as you’d expect a giant to be - BIG! Adding to this, there are three of them. Everyone got stuck in. I decided to focus on attacking just one until that was dead. When it finally died, I still had quite a bit of stamina left, so getting cocky as I do, I attacked the other two at the same time. Two seconds later I get one of those big blows and I’m low on stamina once more. We all stuck with it. A few people died, giving the giants even more points, but also power. Then finally one of them died. I turned violently to the other one, and we circled around it, I could smell blood in the air. Suddenly it turned tail and ran, so a couple of us followed. I heard a wizard shout out that 6 had died. More people had joined the fight after we started though so we had still got around 10. The giant fled 3 times before we managed to kill it. Killing those giants had took a lot out of me, I felt close to death to be honest.

A funny little man ran up to be a whispered “gnjuik”. He ran away and I felt like a name I once knew had shattered into a million pieces. I woke up thinking that was a strange dream and said “gnjuik” as Cora had suggested before. Suddenly I felt a lot better, full of life in fact. I looked around and saw Cora sitting up waiting for me, and we were off again. On the back to the swamp I suddenly felt a painful hit behind me. I spun around and was about to ask Cora why she had done that when I got another one in my stomach, but no one was there! I turned to Cora and before she could speak, she got kicked, and flung through the air. She quickly sprang up and said, “dam the old man, he’s gone invisible, I think were in trouble”.

Is this the end of our hero? Will this invisible man be beatable? Isn’t there a manual or something to refer to in such emergency? If this is the end, what will happen to the Rocko series? Find out in the next episode of…..

Rocko’s (not so modern) Mud Life!!!