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This is our news page, the most regularly updated section of the site, and written by Wdi. Aim to come back here as often as you can :). We aim to include anything of topical or current worth, and event information - such as bash reports. Oh, and don't forget to look at everything else on the site - you could even write to us if you have time...

News

Saturday 4th December 1999

NEW WIREPLAY MUD2 DISCUSSION FORUM

As advertised by Foddy the arch-wizard on the MUD2 BB, the gameplay.com website now has a forum for Wireplay MUD2 players. Is this, yet another message board, the precursor to the end of the world? Only time will tell.

NEW MUD2 WEBSITE

Morloc the MUD2 wireplayer has published a new MUD2-related website especially for you to look at.

It looks lovely :-).

Address: http://homepages.tesco.net/~Cmirfin/

MOBILE BASH SUCCESS

2nd December Celberity Bash Report, with Nivek

The reset prior to this weeks bash there seemed to be a dispute as to whether or not it should be a pk or no pk bash. Turrican, after stating that he liked to watch people die decided that yes, the pk's were to be free to go about their sordid business as usual. There followed several moments of groaning by most people, apart from Azazal and Reverence (under a different name), the first of whom was about to have a very busy reset...

After the initial voting of some fool as Bash General there came many cries that he had not emerged from the tearoom in the first five minutes. Consequently he was demoted and Pippin the Sorcerer took his place to lead the bashing.

Myself, Olazabal and Seamus then decided to give the golem 'a good whipping'. However, the golem put up a good fight and Seamus ended up fleeing on 8 stamina. Olazabal went n and finished the job off. Next, a keep team was organised and the four evil mobiles inside were killed in no time at all. Plantpot the hero, waving his longsword and shaking his eagle then scared the keep team away whilst he took all of the treasure.

With the death count at around 30 left in 50 minutes, a giant team formed with around ten players willing to fight for all they were worth. However, it became apparent around 5 minutes later that this wasn't much, as 10 more names were added to the obituary; including Pippin the Bash General. At around the same time Azazal the warlock, situated in the Sorcerer Room, proceeded to summon every player above sorcerer level, resulting in the death of Foz the sorcerer and the (very) near death of Olazabal the Necromancer.

Nothing much happened in the following 30 minutes apart from the death of the giants (hurrah!) and the wraith who hung on for as long as it could. With ten minutes left, 5 mobiles remained including the snowbird, octopus, and a couple of undead (mostly due to the giants). At this point around 8 musers sat in the tearoom 'swaying considerably' after their meetings with Azazal. This led to a reduction in the rate of mobile deaths leaving 5 still alive in 4 minutes. Then, remarkably, the number was reduced to 2 mobiles in 2 minutes and then - hey presto - the last 2 mobiles vanished from sight. Under slightly suspicious circumstances the bash was completed and the 3,000 pts were handed out (to the horror of the musers still sitting in the tearoom).

Saturday 27th November 1999

MOBILE BASH

25th November Bash Report

This week's mobile bash was declared by Gandalf the wizard to be a PK-free one. Any people found killing other players would be terminated by FOD (increasingly commonly referred to as 'Lexley treatment'). Less than thirty played at the start when Wdi the warlock was voted in as general.

Though the SV count appeared to be dropping slowly at first, this was mainly due to the harder mobiles taking prority early for a chance - the spider, among others, was killed in the first twenty minutes, at approximately the end of which your gallant bash general :-), aided by Firefarter, attacked all the apes at once and so fled. Shortly afterwards, Vulnax died to the goblins :-(.

Llysfaen succesfully led a large team to fight the Evil Twins and the pagoda mobiles whilst Syl and Maniac fought dwarfs both trying to get the highest number of kills (Syl won :-) ).

With thirty minutes remaining almost forty mobiles still walked The Land. These were mostly from the giant realm, so teams were sent there. However, it seems that some players deserted these teams, leaving only a small number fighting the giants. This resulted in the deaths of Maniac the sorcerer and Nivek the necromancer to giants. Larger teams were sent in.

Meanwhile, Joey and Reverence fought over control of the dragon kit, and Lascorcie fought a long battle against the octopus near the vicious rocks. Then Reverence stole Joey's objects, 'did' the dragon and went on to attack the octopus with Wdi, Las' and Joey, whilst Stormin killed the still-alive swan. The dragon eventually kicked the dust, and the octopus passed on seconds before the commencement of the auto-reset.

Well done, players. :-)

ROCKO'S (NOT SO MODERN) MUD LIFE

A new episode (number eight) of Rocko's MUD Life series is now online.

Check the link on the Current bar for access.

Thursday 25th November 1999

SORCERER WAR WIZ-WON: MORTAL TEAM DISGRACED

The official wiz vs. mortal sorcerer war, as organised and advertised by Karya, Fruitbat and Tom took place last week on Saturday 20th, and was a sorcerer war between two teams - perhaps susprisingly, a mortal team and a dirty, stinking, evil, good-for-nothing wiz team. And the mortal team got hammered :-).

On the wiz team side played Boggy, Foddy, Gandalf, Huck, Karya, Mathias(-ilda), Antman, T-T-Turrican and Agrazag (and Joey too, but that's unofficial). These mighty wizards and witches chose infectious and communicable diseases (mmm!) as their naming theme, playing as, in no particular order, Pneumonia, Typhoid, Measles, Ebola, Influenza, Syphillis, Psychosis, Halitosis, Malaria, and a few others whose names are not remembered (this reporter is still in shock).

On the opposing team, the 'TT' mortal side (who had one extra player), played Tom (as captain), Reverence (as vice captain), Joey, Wdi, Thwomp, Foz, Cloud, Fleet, Benny and Gdn. Mortals aren't as clever as wizzes, so after hours of argument it was finally decided that 'band names' should be the naming theme... So, the mortal team members played as Tomjones (Tom), Faithless (Reverence), Bobmarley (Joey), Deadbeats (Wdi), Chuckberry (Thwomp), Fufighters (Foz), Genesis (Cloud), Bewitched (Fleet), Willsmith (Benny) and Defleppard (Gdn).

The war began at 21:00, but most particpants had arrived long before then, which was actually necessary as all the members of the mortal team needed to get up to warrior to be allowed into the team house... Shortly before the advertised time, Richard the arch-wizard appeared [-APPLAUSE-] and opened a second version of The Land for the war to take place in.

Intermission - Gdn Speaks

Well, resets, as you know, begin and end, and as the sorc war reset began, the members of both teams and just about everyone else who was on at the time, decided to come in and see what it was all about.

The presence of so many mortals in one session at once seemed to have some profound effect on Cat the wizard: he successfully managed to sorcerise every mortal except the ones playing in the mortal team. After spending rather a long time trying to rectify this mistake, he set about prefixing the teams. The wiz team-members were prefixed with the poetic, 'evil wiz sorcerer', and the mortals were prefixed imaginitively with, 'mortal sorcerer'. Every mortal, that is, except the ones participating in the war... So, after much messing about and swearing (directed mostly at Cat, and mostly from his fellow wizzes), Cat picked up all the war's participants and teleported to the conference room. he then kicked out the ones who weren't supposed to be there, and fodded some more who were.

So, in the insuing confusion, one of the wiz team thought it would be fun to start kicking various mortal team members, and so, I attacked the wiz, was fodded by Cat, came back in to the session, was re-sorced about five minutes after the war had started, and dropped right next to the vampire. Fair start? We should've won. Oh yes we should.

End of Intermission

In the beginning there was lag. And the wiz team looked at the lag and saw that it was bad (but they probably created it ;-) ). And whilst some of the participating sorcerers went for whatever kit they could find, the wiz team started a big rumble at the rough heath near the middle mountain. This lasted for quite a while, due to the lag and the way players from both teams continually joined the fight as it carried on. No-one was killed, but Halitosis died shortly afterwards to a failed attempt to FOD Tomjones. Nervousness, Foddy?... <gulp>

The first death by combat came from Syphillis (who lost his magic). He killed Fufighters, one of our greatest players :-). This slightly shook the mortal team - organisation on our side broke down into simple calls for help from this point. Meanwhile, the wiz team started to organise itself properly, resulting in another large fight in which Bewitched the mortal spellbindress died to Tyhoid, Pneumonia, Syphillis, Influenza and Psychosis. Ouch! Tom broke away from the fight but was attacked and killed by Typhoid - our captain was lost!

Willsmith lost his magic and effectively gave up by quitting. By now, the mortals had set up a small stronghold in the Eastern undergound. The key to the base was to be held safely in the base... Faithless took it out with him and was whacked by Typhoid and Syphillis, so in wasn't long until the wizzes worked out how to use it and broke in... :-) Only one wiz team member did so, but it was an example of things to come.

Whilst the majority of the remains of the mortal team sat in their unsecure base, Chuckberry, who had played excellently in the competition, fought a solo war out in The Land but died to the great Ebola. Defleppard followed this with a fleeing spree at the end of which he died to Ebola and Influenza.

This left just Bobmarley, Deadbeats and Genesis. There courageous folks weren't cowardly at all, just unlucky. They attempted to organise a come-back tour :-), but were put off by the death of Syphillis (wiz team member) by the hands of Typhoid (wiz team member). Strange :-)...

The mortals attempted to rally themselves, failed, and decided to sleep to regain stamina, hoping to attempt an attack on some of the wiz team players who were in far corners of the world. Unfortunately, the wizzes broke into the hiding place in large numbers and attacked all three mortals. Genesis died (to Psychosis and Influenza), but Bobmarley and Deadbeats fled up and out, darting across the surface towards the sea. Both had 'long-shot'-type plans to try, but both were scuppered by the zombies and dwarfs which had spread about The Land. Deadbeats died to Measles after a long chase and string of flees, and he was shortly followed by - gasp - Malaria to the touchstone, but then Bobmarley, who died to Typhoid and Pneumonia. Victory to the mortal team... :-)

The final score was 10-3 to the wiz team, the three wiz deaths all being own goals.
The wizzes looked very smug...

A rematch was demanded by some (as it always is). However, experts are unsure as to whether the mortal team players' reputations can taken much more punishment. I would say yes - we actually played quite well :-).

MOBILE BASH

18th November Bash Report

Cora was general,
Gandalf was odd,
Werewolf to TS,
He said, "Oh my god."

Bash slow to start,
176 - 85,
An appearance from Keyser,
'Nice to know he's alive.

Reverence was killing,
Meek, Naros, Redport,
Sally died also,
In Rev's pink/green fort.

Cora dropped general,
It changed to Menai,
"Lexley's treatment required:"
Force PKs to wear ties.

Meek fought the killer,
it was over the dragon,
Rev won in the end,
And then slept in his wagon.

The giants killed hundreds,
(It was actually three),
Gdn, Syl and Rocko,
They were paid not to flee.

The a-reset commenced,
Only minutes remained,
Peeps then tried for the spider,
In the ruin's remains.

It took many hits,
But it died in the fight
3000 to all,
And to all a good-night!

Apologies for the lateness of this update.

Saturday 13th November 1999

SORCERER WAR - MORTAL TEAM VOTING

Voting for the mortal vs. wiz sorcerer war mortal team is still continuing. To register your votes, send a MUDmail message (M at the prompt, L to leave a message) to Fruitbat listing your choices (in order of preference) for the mortal team members. Choose ten to fifteen players. Don't waste your time picking wizmorts - we only want quality players :-)...

MOBILE BASH SUPER SUCCESS

11th November Celebrity Bash Report, with Bash General Seamus

Howdy folks, Thursday seemed to creep up faster than last year's cheese and chive dips and bash night was upon us again. At the start of the bash, Olazabal, myself and Firefarter decided to help each other and do one over the golem. After 5 minutes that was completed and although I myself never got to fight the golem, my first kill of the night was against a zombie outside the cemetery with help from Gutbucket and Poledra while I was on my way to collect my treasure.

Nominations were made from bash general and while I was hoping not to be nominated after the server crashed last week, I was chosen - again :)

So Rocko got a dwarf team organised because he loves the dwarfs so much, and I had to leave the keyboard for 5 minutes to answer the phone - so I hid the ladder shaft (grin).

The phone call was quite exciting but it was time to come back to the game and organise my troops who seemed to be doing pretty well I might add. Menai, Gutbucket, myself and Zhen (something like that - sorry) disposed of the ghoul and the count after this was at 123 alive in 82 minutes. So after much needed rest to restore magic and stamina, a gang of thugs (ourselves) made way to the keep to destroy what lay in those castle ruins. People who helped with the keep were Olazabal, Gutbucket, Menai, Darknight and myself. (Please note - I decided not to write while bash general cause it takes up a lot of time) Anyhow, the wyvern was killed rather easily with no major casulties except 1 person who forgot to carry a phial and was stung (ouch!). The was actually no major problems with the keep at all but when the treasure was about to be handed out, Tsunami decided to try and steal it all but Gutbucket crippled him and the treasure was divided equally between those who did help with the keep. By now the count was at 74 in 73 minutes so we were doing pretty well. Someone kept saying it was easy but I shouted back at them to shut up and keep killing mobiles until they were all dead - then they can shout easy as they want :).

There was a little problem with the giants. Foz was fighting one of them and I went in to help but unfortunately for Foz, myself and whoever came in at the back of me, the other 2 giants came to aid their dying fiend (yes - not friend) so I ended up fleeing and coming back 5 minutes later to help kill the remaining giants with help from a lot of people including Bigphill, Joey, Gutbucket, Poledra, Conner and more but I can't remember who. Both of the giants died and fled like little baby kittens and the rest of the goblins were desimated and condemned forever - well until the start of the next set (grin).

The bash was looking good with 11 left in 43 minutes and Foz was attacking the basilisk and I tried to find the basilisk as well but because I was blind - the basilisk came to me. The freak was killed and 5 was left in about 38 minutes by some mob and the remaining sealife put on a platter and left to kill was the skeleton hiding in the fossil room, so everyone met up at the rapids and someone summoned the skeleton and more or less everyone beat up the skeleton to a pulp (if you can do that to them) and the bash was successfully completed with no more than 25 minutes remaining.

Well done folks - a fantastic bash had by all. :)

ROCKO RETURNS

Epsiode 7 of the MUD Life story is released!

Saturday 6th November 1999

4th November Bash Report

This one started really badly: Seamus the necromancer died to the grizzly bear in the first few seconds :-)... He was then voted in a bash general by the sympathetic masses and went on to successfully sort the large player rabble into smaller, more managable rabbles. One of these groups went off to do the dwarfs... and never came back. Their footage was found two years later. Actually, they just sort of piled up, this dwarf team. Horrible sight.

The killing teams plodded on, and a few killers tried to whack them at the same time. I am informed that GNJ responded to this (and provocation from Hegehog the cowardly mage) by standing in the cottage hoping that the killers would walk in, drop their kit and fall asleep.

After what was quite a good start, the bashing slowed and with thirty-six minutes remaining almost seventy mobiles were still alive. Ten minutes passed with only a small-to-medium sized dent made in the mobile SV count. Victory looked unlikely, but Seamus was optimistic and continued to lead onwards. Unfortunately, five minutes later (with twenty minutes remaining), the game crashed and the bash ended prematurely. Whether we would have won or not is debatable, but Agrazag the wizard declared the mobile bash a failure and so no points were given to the participants. Bad luck, players.

Sneaky mobile bash info give-away: Sources suggest that the ape13 which caused last week's bash to fail was generated by a player in the Pagoda and was not, in fact, a regular ape.

Sunday 31st October 1999

WITCH? ISSUE 4 RELEASED

The fourth issue of Witch? magazine, by Lexley the witch, is now online at http://www.lexley.freeserve.co.uk/witch/issue4/witch.htm. This issue: mobile bashes, mudmeet mashes, mapping moustaches, a competition and more (including an amusing letter from Joey :-) ).

A consistently excellent site :-).

Friday 29th October 1999

MOBILE BASH FAILURE

28th October Bash Report

With Smellycat as general, how could we possibly lose? It could be said that the giants make the difference. This may be true, but it seems that, in mobile bashes, the giants are being treated like the dwarfs - that is to say, they are killed off by large teams of players without too much trouble. Brawn without the brains... :-) Maybe. Yesterday evening, the mobiles of the giant's area had taken quite a pounding before the last quarter of the reset.

If it was not the giants, then it could have been the pessimistic (yet vocal) minority who caused the bash to fail. But does anybody actually listen to these people? "13 to kill in 60 minutes - DOOMED..." This, of course, adds to all the shouting, which is often a problem for those without the magic to deafen themselves or the knowledge to otherwise block the noise.

It wasn't because of cowardice. The difficult mobile bunch (basilisk, griffin, evil wood crew, tiger, that flamming giantsnake, mouse0) were all offed by the end. It wasn't due to lack of trying, either. I counted at least eight hundred and fifty musers casting their little hearts out in the attempt to WHERE the last remaining mobiles.

Was it perhaps due to the defrosting of the mammoth? Whoever did that deserves to be shot repeatedly with an automatic axe, even if the mammoth does die automatically after sixty seconds...

No, my children, the bash failed smiply because of bad luck. In the dying minutes, the magic-user population, in trying to locate the last one remaining mobile, overlooked the possibility that it might be an obvious one. Fairly obvious... As revealed afterwards by Gandalf the wizard, the last remaining mobile was ape13, which is found in the pagoda.

Actually, that means we can blame someone. Pagoda people! Line up next to the mammoth man!

-- Jeremy, Daily Mirror, MUD2 supplement

ROCKO

A new episode of the Not So Modern Life is now online.

Wenesday 27th October 1999

** BINGLY BONGLY **

and other wedding bell type noises!

Well ok, so no bells were actually tolling for Cora and Maniac's wedding on Monday, but that's only because Cat had disallowed fighting, and so Fruitbat couldn't get his rich pickings from all the magic users attending the wedding <g>.

Cat provided the lovely couple with a tropical island for the ceremony (handily enough next to the tearoom), and there, on a Caribbean beach, under the twinkling stars, and in the presence of hundreds (well, quite a few) loving friends (well, acquaintances, there because they heard about the free drinks), Maniac and Cora got married. Or at least I think they did. Even with Cat's request for no acting and only tells during the ceremony, when you've got 30 people blubbing into their hankies, dancing with each other, getting all romantic, and discussing who's got the best hat, it's quite hard to hear two little voices promising to love, honour and obey one another until, well, until they run off with someone else... Oh, Foz forgot the ring, but he looked so cute in his best man outfit, that we'll forgive him <gg>.

After the wedding, during which Cora wore a grass skirt, Maniac wore shades and a nasty coloured shirt, and everyone else wore 'wedding guest' prefixes, we all adjourned to the nearby ballroom and courtyard, just below the bridal suite. Cat, the master of ceremonies [or sandwiches - ...] that he is, provided masses of champagne, cakes, and even a mini-bar, and probably sausages on sticks and cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off too, but I only had eyes for the alcohol : ). Handily there was also a portaloo, which saved us all having to run for the cottage and queue up, (although according to Cat you could pee in the swimming pool too, but we were all far too polite). We all drank a lot, well I did, and we all danced a lot, well I did... Oh, now I get why everyone left...

And that was that! Cora was now Cora the radiant, and Maniac was Maniac the besotted, and very sweet they looked too. I'd just like to add at this point, that if Cat was a real priest, he should be defrocked and thrown out of the priesthood for his behaviour in the pool later <G>. Yes, you know what I mean young man....

lots of love,

Rosie the 'drunk so much you've done yourself a permanent injury' novice.

Saturday 23rd October 1999

21st October Celebrity Bash Report, with Seamus

(Sigh). Oh well, better late than never as some people might say, as far as I was concerened, I was lucky to even make it to the bash tonight. But I did and the with the count sitting unpretty at 141 alive in 67 minutes. Did the bash honestly stand a chance of succeeding? Bash-general Lsuismnsm was pretty quiet according to some shouts when I arrived and some people wanted Fleet or Bashfull to take over. But would the sudden arrival of myself change anything, probably not (laugh).

I said hello to a few people in the tearoom and then swiftly made my way under the well at the temple to meet up with Firefarter and Llysfaen, who gave me a blade to fight with (yey!), to kill the remaining 3 watersnakes hiding about in the underground rivers and streams. Not much happening while our team eliminated the snakes until I woke up and read the count - 79 in 48 minutes!!!

During a space of 20 minutes, the 30 keen bashers with Gandalf the wizard overlooking, managed to give over 60 mobiles a severe kick in. Not bad for 20 minutes as far as I was concerned. More shouts came out that the bash was going to be doomed before a team consisting of Wdi, Vulnax, Shirty, Estonian, Motmai and Rillsong took it upon themselves to raid Evil Wood and see what the nightlife was like there, killing the wraith and the fangtastic (groan) vampire and then making their way to the Pagoda to smash any mobiles trying to enlighten themselves in the bash.

Meanwhile, myself, struggling my way through the bash with only 3 watersnakes to my name began to realise that this has got to be one of the worst bashes that I have attempted to be involved in due to me not being able to find a single mobile to kill since leaving the Temple Well after 15 minutes - I was struggling!! Some people began to shout to Gandalf what was left, but Gandalf not giving anything away, oinked at the mob. Eureeka-ka-ka-ka (my word the jokes get worse and worse :-) chuckle!) I dashed as fast as my little legs could carry me to the Scriptorium and got myself a plump piglet to kill. The piglet, not determined to die easily, made my life a living hell as it took my stamina down to 75 before giving up the ghost and dying. Now, people started to feel a little confident with the count at 66 alive in 35 minutes and individuals took it upon themselves to tackle the giants. Well, well, well. Gandalf had a little fun shouting out the scorelines between the giants and the mortals. Before a team including Marlight and Rocko turned the scoreline on its head, the giants where leading 6-0 at half time as mortals such as Gulliver became butcher meat to the giants of the shrine. And still I wasn't having a good bash at all :(

So off to cemetery I went to get a simple kill out of the ghoul - or so I thought. Armed with my trusty garden fork, I thought the ghoul was going to bite the dust fairly easily, until the crippled freak took a wafer out of a carpet bag I failed to see as I entered the dark tomb. So with it taking my stamina down to 70 after 3 hits from eating its wafer, I mutilated the ghoul into submission taking the count down to 49 in 26 minutes. You may remember that Gulliver was one of the 6 mortals killed by the giants, well he returned and asked me to help him get a kill so he can get his bonus should the bash be successful. So we took to the mausoleum and shouted for some people to help kill the skeleton there. But we wandered into antoher tomb and came back out with the skeleton dead (jeeps), so Gulliver was still needing a kill for a bonus with the count now down to 15 alive in 15 minutes. The south-west tomb was the destination where Gulliver, Shadylady and myself killed a pathetic attempt of an attack by a lone zombie.

the next attempt at a kill was on the basilisk within the grandfather clock, I was doing not bad against the stone turning creature, until disaster broke. With the basilisk's stamina down to about critical, my eyesight came back and once I made fun of the basilisk's haircut, he turned me stone stating that if I looked in the mirror more often then perhaps I would learn what it is like have a decent haircut.

With the last mobile standing with about 3 minutes left, a team assembled and attempted to summon the last remaining mobile - the skeleton0 and finish it off. Wdi was the lucky summoner and with the teams fantastic efforts the land was rid of evil once again.

Thought from the bash: Only criticise your general when the bash is lost!!

Well done to all that took part and well done to the bash-general Lsuismnsm who made yet another bash successful (that must be something like 8 on the bounce, I think [10, actually, excluding the crash - Wdi])

Notable deaths:

Firefarter the hero to the evil touchstone.
Barren the swordswoman to Kenmc the warrior, Corbulo the warrior, Flea the sorcerer, Heiach the superhero and Syl the yeoman.

Barren's death is only mentioned because of the vast number of people of different levels needed to kill her. Must be some woman :)...

Wenesday 20th October 1999

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT

... OYEZ OYEZ ...

Maniac and Cici are to be married on Monday the 25th of October at 20:30 in a ceremony taking place on a sandy beach, far, far away (but pretty close to a swimming pool that you can't actually swim in). All are invited! Free drink! Bring a friend! Try t... Free drink?!?

Yes: possibly to be supplied by Cat's Superbooze Distribution Inc.

Be there! Monday 25th, 8:30 pm.

In a related story, Joey is now looking to settle down with a partner. If anyone is interested...

ROCKO!

The entire award-winning series, Rocko's (Not So Modern) MUD Life, is now available here - with all new episodes :-)!

For the uninitiated, a note: Rocko uses his own language when writing, based (loosely) upon English. So don't worry about it. You really need to chill out....

The link appears on the current/columns bar.

Saturday 16th October 1999

SEAMUS SPEAKS

14th October Celebrity Bash Report, with Seamus

Hiya there folks. And yes, I finally joined a bash for the first time in 3 weeks before 9pm. Anyhow, the reset started and I went straight for the billhook in the deerpark and killed a dove on the way. My first kill of the evening and the ball was starting to roll on who would be bash-general for the first proper bash with the giants (since Dunbad was in charge last time and the game crashed).

After Sonic shouting his name several times to be bash general and other people shouting for Foz, Sonic was given the deed for the evening after Foz decided not to be general.

Daquie, Olazabal and myself were the team ready to the icons and I had volunteered to mutilate the golem, unfortunately, Daquie went in instead and killed the golem. Unfortunately, this being the first time he has done this, forgot to do a certain thing when he collected the icons and ended up stranded on the vicious rocks and had to quit to get back to the land. I decided to attempt to collect the icons but ended up in trouble in the goblin caves taking a completed beaten from one 24 point goblin and ended up with 24 stam after that fight. Instead of going OUT of the caves from where I fought the goblin, I went North by accident and fled to the two goblins waiting, on 3 stam (jeeps!).

The next 5-10 mins were spent in the tearoom recouperating and chatting with the lovely Diva. When I left, the count remaining was 112sv in 67 mins. It was gonna be a bit tough to finish this one. So I met up with Diva and we attempted to find some kills to bring this total down. So we found a coot and blased that foul (get it?) thing to a water grave. The next mobile to bite the dust was the ghoul who never really put up much of a fight against Diva and myself although he did bring my stam down by 19 after throwing it's hatchet at me. Sonic asked me to get a team organised to go out to sea and bring back some dinner for the rest of the people on land cause they were hungry. Well, for the next 10 minutes, only one person turned up - Gannon - and there was not another available boat for Diva lying around so that was abandoned very quickly. The count now read 53sv in 29 minutes and already we lost our bash-general Sonic to the giants. But he made a quick recovery and was back directing the vicious mob where to go and what to kill.

On this, myself, Diva and Dizzy went down to the giant place to find some goblins to kill but we weren't too successful in finding some. So Foz and Poledra arrived and I was attacked by an invisable pk. But Jupiter was already asking to withdraw before he finally became visable and Foz, Poledra and Dizzy joined in the kick in so Jupiter fled and Foz made a quick dash to follow and although unsure where the battle ended up, I do know that Jupiter was blasted to space by Foz who finished him off. The count was now 25sv in 16 minutes and the giants were basically dead so it was going to be a close finish.

At this point, I went to the shrine and left the game for the next 4 and a half minutes to get some pizza and came back to regain some strength and magic and collected the horn from evil wood in case we required some summoning near the end of the reset. The auto-reset came with 8 left to kill but it was postponed for another 6 mins because the wizards just love us all really :). And because of this they fodded 3 mobiles for us and extended the reset for another 5 minutes. But in the end a zombie was left in the south-west tomb, which a team quickly got to, and the ox which was stranded on the conceled inlet. With the reset getting very close it was Illystryl who summoned the ox and Sonic our beloved bash-general who swamped it and gave everyone their 3k. Close and almost no cigar, but well done to everyone (and yes the pizza was good :) ).

Notable deaths during the reset:

Flea the Sorcerer to Jupiter the Superhero,
Foz the Sorcerer to the dragon's breath,
Sonic the bash-general necromancer to the giant,
Rorschach to the shark.

Saturday 9th October 1999

7th October Celebrity Bash Report, with Gdn

Another success. Oh yes. With about 12 minutes to spare, the ichosaurus was hammered into the dirt and everyone received their (well deserved?) 3K.

Bash highlights are as follows:

Hegehog the warlock was found in the cave eating the snot. When asked about this, he replied: "Nyaarrr."

A giant sword, cleverly crafted out of priceless gems and ASCII text appeared suddenly and magically upon the screens of everyone trying to sleep. Following this were numerous shouts (mostly by the wizzes) of "What the hell was that?", and "We're all going to die!", and "Why have I got this sword-thingy on my screen? Am I special? What do I do with it?"

Evil Thwomp perished an untimely death to Shalakazam - who had allegedly gained 50K that set from kills and flees alone - by having his own force spell rebound on him. It was the force spell of the 'kick vampire.......................steal cape from vampire............' kind.

Olazabal the necromancer also died to someone, although the wizzes are denying any involvement in this.

Hegehog the warlock managed to kill Commit, who fumbled a flee. We all know how bad that feels.

And finally, Kyric the arch-wizard decided that because we had done so well (?), he would grant us with a quiz. The questions were tough. Several people fodded themselves because of the sheer shame of not knowing the answers. Kyric's "Who is Catherine Zeta-jones allegedly going out with" question provoked the response "it's Michael Douglas, and it's not alleged, it's true." To this Kyric replied, "No, it's alleged because you don't live in her pants." If anyone manages to fathom this one out, please tell me.

Thursday 7th October 1999

SPECIAL FEATURE!

A late bash report, with guess who.

30th September Bash Report

The bash began in the normal bash fashion: the highlifes ran for the wafers, the lowlifes ran for the carrot.

So, the reset saw the golem die almost instantly at the hands of Undertaker along with numerous fireflies, rodents and dwarfs. Fifteen minutes later The Land's biggest lizard bit the dust. Limbs were severed and heads rolled as the usual blood-lust took over the participants. And victory reared its glorious head with over half an hour to spare.

Strange, I thought, that we should do so well. Definitely wiz interference.

Gdn

Sunday 26th September 1999

Due to Wireplay messing with their systems again, the Thursday mobile bash was rescheduled and took place yesterday.

25th September Celebrity Bash Report, with Darknight

We had quite some turnout, with over 40 mudders kicking mobile butt! Gandalf was the first wiz to arrive on the game, and so he took votes on who was to be general. In the end, Po was to be general and Sonic was to be the assistant general. Having 40 mudders on is not a clean experience! Most mudders had lag trouble, including yours truly :0).

Having taken so long to choose a general, we got off to a bad start, needing to kill 121 mobiles in 90 minutes. However, we all pulled through to kill more mobiles in such a quick time that we had after we had finished the bash we still had 23 minutes left in The Land.

One of the first mobiles to go was the banshee and thief, which I took care of personally (with a little help). Then a keep teem assembled, consisting of Drakan, Shlinky, Pippin, Demonn, Marlight, and me. Drakan got heroic on us and took on the maid and her crew on his own. Boy was he glad when the posse arrived and saved his neck!

Atomation was up to his old tricks and, as a superhero, killed sally, a hero. Don't worry Sally, we'll take him out for ya! Half way through the bash, our glorious leader, Po, deserted us, and left Sonic to do his job. But luckily, he returned later and lead us to victory :0)

Khaos was having one of his off days, and was fried by dragon-breath. In the last 45 mins, we had mobiles down to 13, and in 35 mins, we had them down to 5. The mermaid was last to die, giving all personas who had killed 3k. Great bash guyz!

Friday 24th September 1999

Old Muddy 'columns' are now archived, along with the three Muddled Times issues, in The MUD2 Section.

Tuesday 21st September 1999

NEW MUD2 WEBSITE

Seamus, a Wireplay MUD2 player, has uploaded a new MUD2-related website of his own creation. It can be found at http://website.lineone.net/~forgie/index.html. It's nice - it has an introduction to Seamus himself in addition to - gasp! - personal bash reports...

Apologies for the lateness of this announcement.

Sunday 19th September 1999

HUCK REACHES LEVEL 11

Quoted by Richard as having taken place at 4:40 am and having involved a whole icon collection, Huck the mage finally reached the level of wizard yesterday evening, so congratulations to him!

Out of the charts he goes! :-)

KEEP ON ROCKING

For those now totally shocked by the revelation of Huck's wizzing, Muddy presents a special calming edition of... Rocko's (not so modern) Mud Life ("!!!"). As usual, this is only a reconstruction and so spellings and grammar have been changed to protect the innocent (ie. the parts of the English language). Rocko is to blame.

The document has been MUD2-sectioned.

Previous versions of Rocko's story are currently available on his own website.

Saturday 18th September 1999

GIANTS IN MOBILE BASH

16th September Bash Report

Graced by the immortal presence of Gandalf the white, Karya the melancholy and Turrican the sinister, players stood in The Land contemplating their fate. The mobile bash was to be, of course, the first one we would attempt that included the new giant realm area with all its extra mobiles. The general feeling among most of the mortals I spoke to regarding our chance of success was quite pessimistic. The voting session, chaired by Gandalf the wizard, resulted in Gdn the necromancer narrowly winning over Dunbad the mage. However, it was in fact Dunbad who became the bash general, as Gdn chose to turn down the post.

The surviving mobile (SV) count at the start of the reset was the highest it had ever been in a Wireplay MUD2 mobile bash, so from the very beginning it was very difficult to judge just how well we were actually doing. Some didn't seem to realise that there were extra mobiles in the game and got very upset when the bonuses came later than usual. :-)

With 85 minutes remaining we still had 150 mobiles to kill. Though this included the dwarfs (Rocko was angry) and so on, this was still very high - and it also included the giants.

The best way to tackle these new, extremely powerful mobiles might have been to wait to the end of the reset and tackle them with large teams of players (10+) with little else to do. Instead, a brave/reckless and daring/foolhardy party of mortals went in early on (just before 100sv/65mins) and quickly started to scream for help. These giants can do hits taking off over 60 stamina points! They also guard lots of nice new kit...

Amazingly, we did in fact manage to catch up and get into a winning position. It had lots to do with the useful participation of everyone playing and the direction of our leader, Dunbad. We got to the point of 15 mobiles left with 19 minutes to kill them in. Both of these figures dropped, and it looked hopeful. Victory was a distinct possibility after all.

Unfortunately, we shall never know if we would have won (I imagine our tactics will change for good from now on), as the reset crashed and threw everyone out of The Land. Why this happened, I cannot say (rumours point the finger of blame at an action of Fleet or Joey...). It most probably has something to do with the new area.

A new reset blinked into existence and a lot of angry players stepped through into it :-). Some mortals sat complaining, others capitalised on the oppurtunity to get some more treasure. Wizardly mumbling was heard in the far distance... It was eventually decided that we should all be given some of the points since we were so close to victory. We were told by Cat the wizard to assemble on the road by the cottage, and a large throng amassed there. Whilst Joey the pyromaniac threatened to send the entire crowd up in flames, 2500 points were given out to all, including some who didn't seem to play in the bash...

Notable obituary: Underpants the guardian to the evil touchstone.

Friday 17th September 1999

Anon (possibly misheard):

I enter the reset and gather my wits,
Pick up a weapon and read the obit,
If I'm not there I know I'm not dead,
So I do a few tasks and go back to bed.

Tuesday 14th September 1999

GIANTS!

The latest addition to MUD2 has been released by Richard the arch-wizard (yesterday, I think).

Those of you who have were priveleged enough to participate in the testing sessions of this new update will know that giant object and actual giants are involved, and that it's really, really dangerous. Sounds great :-). The first player to map the new areas for me wins a prize...

The Land just got a whole lot bi...
"Get out of my sight."

Saturday 11th September 1999

DANGEROUS FIREARM FOUND IN 'MOBILE BASH'

9th September Bash Report

Voting for Thursday's bash general began the reset prior to the event (reset 12000, a lovely number). In the actual bash reset, Wdi the necromancer received the most votes and was elected general but resigned his post to go off and be grumpy. Bashfull the warlock (Fleet) was elected the general, and did her usual thing of taking things slowly and easily... Feel the light jazz beat!

While the players were sitting around and sipping their cocktails, an assembled icon team (finally) sent in a the necromancer, Vulnax, to the Outer sacnctum to do battle with the evil golem. Unfortunately - and I'm not sure how this happened - she died dead dead to the creature, boosting up the golem's score by... um, a lot of points. The attempts to kill the golem continued from this point onwards... :-)

Meanwhile, kills continued to take place slowly: 100Ssv/81mins. The pace was upped, but only slightly, and we reached a point with fifty minutes and the same number of mobiles remaining. The player killer, Revolver the warlock, who had been polishing his magical ring for most of the reset, summoned Ocypete the necromancer to a pit in the dwarf mine and killed him there and then. Revolver continued to summon other players, who mostly all fled, with the exception of Olazabal the necromancer, who passed on in the fight. And whilst Revolver soaked up points from fights, so did the golem, which had become more and more powerful from the number of players fleeing from it....

An attempt was made to off the golem by 'sending in' more than one player at once. After numerous false starts, this idea finally worked, and the golem was killed by Vulnax, Joey and Ministry, for approximately 800 points each! These players, and others, went off to kill the remaining mobiles... whilst others sat, wrecked, in the tearoom. Someone obviously got upset in there - Eltoro the sorcerer and Pip the sorcerer both suddenly popped onto the game, one after another, and took two pot shot FODs at Revolver, both of which failed to kill him. Then: 15sv/15mins!

As the auto-reset started, and we were allowed 290 more seconds of play, four mobiles remained. Panic, panic!

We were lucky. In the final few seconds, the heroic Marlenus killed the remaining mobile for victory.

Also to die were Sooner the superhero to Thwomp and Vulnax, Holmes to the touchstone, Aurora the superhero to the spider, Maniac the hero an ape and Quamis the superhero to Joey.

It was, all round, a complete blood bath. Excellent!

MUDMEET HIJINKS CAUGHT ON CAMERA

Photographs from the Kingston MUDmeet are now online.
Richard's, Cat's and Gutbucket's are all available for viewing.

Also, this is a new news page. The previous ones are well worth reading if you have a kind of fetish for mobile bash reports. Actually, read them anyway. Go on, click the hyperlink below. :-)

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